I’ve been doing this whole meditation gig for a while now. You’d think it would be easy for me to stay focused. You’d think I wouldn’t be lured by distractions.
Yet here I am, in the midst of my weekly article, being pulled by every distraction out there. Sounds, sensations, thoughts, emotions – none are off-limits.
Take, for instance, this morning. We recently started letting our cats outside during the day. They went from being outside most of the day, to our first move to the coast where HOAs wouldn’t allow outside cats. That was a difficult transition for them. We had a catio, which helped, so eventually they got used to it. Now, since moving again, those restrictions are lifted. We want them to live their best life, and for them, that means outside time.
I am distracted by this. Is that Stripey meowing? Are they safe? Will Mama, who is very nervous outside of her regular routine, dart when the trash truck arrives?
So how does distraction show up for me, in my body and mind? Well, one thing is mindless eating – lots of snacking. Or it could mean walking around the yard endlessly calling their name. My thoughts and emotions run the gamut from wondering if they’re ever going to come home at all, to worry, anger and impatience.
All this takes up space, leaves me ungrounded and off-center, and keeps me from being productive. It’s time to get back to basics. Here are some reminders:
Stay in the present moment
Ruminating over the past or worrying about the future does no one any good. You can’t change the past, what’s done is done. Those things you’re worrying about may or may not happen. Worrying doesn’t change that. What is happening right now? How can I respond? Best cultivated in meditation.
Be curious
I am not going to stop my thoughts. I can, however, keep a certain curiosity about them. In mindfulness, we like to say “Invite your thoughts in, just don’t ask them to stay for tea.” This means observing without judgment. Sometimes I suggest to my groups to imagine your thoughts like debris on a stream, just watching them float by. Best cultivated in meditation.
Detach from thoughts
As you notice your thoughts, as you become curious about them, treat them almost as if you are watching from a distance, like they belong to someone else. There’s no need to make up stories around them, try to figure out why they entered your consciousness, follow them, or engage with them in any other way. Best cultivated in meditation.
These reminders, of course, can be used for distraction of any kind – thought, emotions or sensations. I remind myself that meditation is not about no distractions. That is unrealistic. Meditation is about changing my relationship with distractions, about being curious without judgment or attachment.
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