Derailment Happens

posted in: Mindfulness | 2

This is how it usually goes. Sometime during the week, something stands out that becomes the subject of my next blog post. It may be an interaction with someone, or an event I attended, or just something in my daily routine. Depending on my schedule, I start writing it early in the week, adding a bit here and there as the week goes on. Sometimes however, I have a full schedule and don’t get to it until the weekend or I might even get up early Monday morning to work on it. This was such a week.

I really hadn’t thought about it much, and then on Thursday I had a lovely Forest Bathing Experience with a young couple from Los Angeles. There’s always time to get to know each other during Forest Bathing and clearly, we were on the same page on things like connection and community and what’s important in life. These encounters always leave me feeling hopeful for our future when there are young people like this couple doing good things in the world.

So, with a plan in place, I began my next post, the one you should be reading now. But some things changed following a conversation with a friend. My plans got derailed and I haven’t quite gotten back on track again. I know it’s about connection and compassion, but I’m having problems reconciling my feelings over this encounter.

Sometimes I’m reminded of my humanness, my frailties and my imperfections, and this is most certainly one of those times. I ruminated, I went down the rabbit hole, I didn’t sleep well, I felt all the things. The neighbor’s dogs woke me up barking at around 5am, so I got up and started my morning routine, first sitting down to meditate. But the barking dogs would not stop and in my state I was not able to do all that I teach – stay in the present moment, come back to the breath, observe without judgment, have compassion, blah, blah, blah.

That leaves me where I’m at now. And where is that exactly? Well, one thing I am able to do is to forgive myself, so there’s that, and that’s a huge thing for me. That’s something that meditation has given me. The rest I’m still working through, and I’m good with that.

You may be asking yourself, what is this post about, anyway? I’m not completely sure myself. Maybe it’s just a reminder to myself and a long way of saying we are ALL human, flaws and all, even those we disagree with. We are all in this together, and so we must take care and be gentle with each other, even those that believe otherwise.

My closing message to you is this: Go out into the world, and be kind to all you meet, including yourself.

2 Responses

  1. Kellie Flanagan

    This is relatable to me, Susan. Part of it involves writing from a place of authenticity and conviction in that. Which is hard sometimes, when the feeling doesn’t match the (self-assigned) topic. And so we drop the bar, not the ball. I wrote about this in a different way this week, so it must be contagious. <3 Thank you for your Monday musings that help me clear my lane for a busy week.

    • Susan Madden

      Yes Kellie, we oftentimes set the bar pretty high for ourselves, and think we have to be a certain way, or at least appear a certain way. I’m a work-in-progress for sure.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *