How flexible are you? I don’t mean flexible as in can you touch your toes, or sit in a lotus position, although that kind of flexibility is important too. I mean the kind of flexibility that let’s you adapt when things don’t go as expected. It’s the kind that makes you go “okay, well then let’s change course.” It’s the opposite of rigid.
Flexibility and resilience go hand in hand. Think of the tall, majestic Ponderosa Pine or Sitka Spruce, whose branches bend with the weight of snow, just to bounce back as the snow melts off.
Lately it seems, flexibility is more important than ever. For many of us, things are not going as planned, in a very big sense. The unexpected happens so often, it becomes the expected. Yet, we all know people who are set in their ways and resistant to change. Change is hard!
Flexibility is a necessary trait and a way to reduce stress. It helps you to overcome challenges, and change course when needed without having to feel like your whole world has been upended.
Sometimes we don’t even realize how rigid we really are. Then, we’re moseying along, minding our own business, and BAM! Something knocks us down, and keeps us down. It often surprises us, so how can we proactively become more flexible so that happens just a little less often? Here are some thoughts:
Embrace change
The ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, famously said, “the only constant in life is change.” The idea of impermanence, that everything is in a constant state of change, is one of the core values of Buddhism. You might as well embrace change! It’s the only thing that’s guaranteed.
Let go
Another Buddhist value is non-attachment. With attachment brings the need to control, to force a particular outcome, or to be unwilling to change. When we get too attached to something, we are really knocked for a loop when we have to let go of that something. That is not to say you shouldn’t feel strongly or care deeply about anything. It just means recognizing that being flexible means knowing when to let go.
Make like a river
A river flows downhill, over and around rocks, changes course when necessary and finds the best route to the sea. Sometimes it’s calm and peaceful, sometimes it’s raging and wild, yet the water always finds it’s way, changing to fit the environment. Be like water.
Just breathe
Don’t take things so seriously. This too shall pass. That’s not to say don’t be engaged, just do so with a lightness.
Be Wrong
Okay, so maybe I’m not always right. If I feared being wrong, think how much I’d miss! I’d always play safe, and close myself to other perspectives and possibilities. Again, borrowing from Buddhist teachings, approach life with the beginner’s mind where there are many possibilities. No expectations, no preconceived notions, just an open mind and a fresh set of eyes.
Being flexible doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand, or not having strong principles. When you’re flexible, there’s an openness to new possibilities even in the worst situation. Flexibility offers resilience when life becomes just a little more complex.
JT
I want to be a river!