I found myself skipping on my walk the other day. Yes, a grown-a$$ woman skipping. On the beach. And it felt good! Of course I looked around to make sure no one was watching, but that’s just nonsense.
There is a certain kind of freedom that comes with letting loose. And people might be watching, some might even judge, but most don’t even notice. People judge all the time, so you might as well be doing something fun and memorable. You might even inspire them to have more fun.
I’ve written before about practicing non-judgment, focused on both self-judgment and judgment of others, but what about fear of judgment, that often crippling trait that we all possess to some degree, that may keep you from living life at its fullest. We all want to fit in, that’s a part of our evolution that helped us survive. It saved us from rejection, provided us with safety.
In these times of social media, advertising, movies, heck all types of media, there can be even more reason to fear judgment. We’re told to dress a certain way, look a certain way, eat a certain way, and we’re flooded with these images many times daily. They’re covert, you might not even notice them but there out there lurking.
There’s a quote out there that says: “What other people think of you is none of your business.” Easy to say, but as I mentioned, we are hard-wired to care. And while I’m not suggesting you give up caring completely, that wouldn’t be pretty, you can let go of the anxiety surrounding fear of judgment and lead a more fulfilling and joyful life. Just an awareness of when you allow that fear to creep in goes a long way, and here are a few other ideas that might resonate with you:
Avoid judging others. We all know people who spend an excessive amount of time complaining about and judging others. I always wonder what those people are saying about me! Do what you can to disengage with those people. Life can be challenging, let others be.
Consider what happens when someone disapproves of you. What happens? Nothing, nothing happens, that’s what! Well, maybe a little embarrassment, but it’s not the end of the world, and soon forgotten.
Do some things you think you might be judged for. It’s like exposure therapy they use in counseling. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Start small and build up.
Realize that most people don’t notice. People really aren’t losing sleep over how you dress, or how you sing, or how you dance. They’re way too wrapped up in their own dramas to pay attention. And if they do judge you, make sure it’s for your uniqueness!
We’re all in the same boat. Again, it’s a universal fear, this fear of judgment, so while they’re judging you, they might also secretly be wishing they’re more like you.
Living your life to please others rarely brings joy. And each time you seek approval, you’re diminishing your own importance. You matter, your inner beauty matters, so let it shine!
How does fear of judgment show up in your life?
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