None of us really know what the future will bring. Oh sure, we can plan for it, save for it, look forward to it, but by definition, it hasn’t happened yet, and will not go as planned. It’s one of the tenets of mindfulness meditation, not getting too invested in the future, because the present moment is all we really have, all we really know. Everything is changing all the time.
Our lives are filled with the unexpected. We come into a big financial windfall, we lose a loved one, we face illness or injury that can change everything. What we once thought was a given suddenly becomes an uncertainty.
While many people are averse to change, humankind has arrived at this place in history by learning to accept and adapt, and perhaps the most successful among us (success being self-defined), carry an openness to new experiences and change, to accepting the unknown.
I am at a place in my own life that I have had to let go of how I thought things would be. It’s been an interesting process observing how I respond. There are, of course, days when I just want to go back in time when I thought I knew what the future held, but mostly I’m content to let that go. I credit this to my own mindfulness practice.
All this is not to say you should not make plans. Go ahead, make those plans, just don’t get too attached to them, be flexible when things don’t go as expected, and be open to new ideas.
During this time of transition, I feel ready for change, excited to see what emerges out of this change. It’s helpful for me to remember some of the lessons learned through my practice:
We are resilient beings
We are always finding new ways of doing things when the old ways don’t work any more. I’ve weathered many a storm, only to come out stronger.
Let go of attachment
In Buddhism, it is said that attachment causes suffering. Too much attachment to a particular outcome, can often times lead to disappointment. You can invest yourself in a project, you can hope for a particular outcome, without becoming attached to that outcome.
Practice Self-compassion
Be gentle with yourself. We are all doing the best we can with the tools that we have. There will be mistakes. Accept them, learn from them, and move on.
Surround yourself with community
Change is hard, and you don’t have to do this alone. Seek advice from a trusted mentor. Call a friend who is a good listener when you feel like giving up.
Be courageous
Change takes courage. Don’t let fear (fear of change, fear of the unknown) prevent you from moving forward.
Expand yourself
Remember that every new experience helps you to grow. Be open to learning new things.
Be flexible
Know when something is not working and change course. There’s more than one way to skin a knee!
It will all be okay
In the bigger scheme of things, it’s pretty hard to mess up so bad that you can’t recover. Ask yourself: what’s the worse that can happen? Then decide if you can live with the consequences.
Stay optimistic
To that I will add, while keeping realistic.
Do not compare
Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t compare to your own past experiences. That may influence your decisions. Your circumstances are unique to you, at this time. Take Theodore Roosevelt’s advice when he said “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
You will always experience the unknown, because all we know is what is in the present moment. Don’t give up planning for the future, just don’t get attached to that vision of the future. It will change. Embrace the unknown and you will experience all that life has to offer
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