Mother’s Day Reflections

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, the one day a year we honor all forms of moms – birth, step, adoptive, foster, pet, grand and those special people you just call mom (did I miss any?). At this time of year, I reflect back on my own experience as a mom and now that my kids are grown, my perspective has changed.

I’ve often said that I wish I had found meditation when I had a young family, I would have had more patience. It’s a funny thing, we often look back and wish we had done things differently. But we didn’t. And the past is the past. And we did the best we could with the tools and knowledge we had.

Along with greater patience, one of the gifts of my mediation practice is the awareness to put those “wishes” aside along with any expectations for the future. I know too well that the future is not guaranteed. So I treasure each moment, and I am committed to living in the present, giving my full attention to who I am with, what I am doing, where I am.

This has most revealed itself in my relationships. When I talk with my daughter or son on the phone I am fully present. I am focused only on what they are saying, not working, not doing a puzzle, not checking email. Even when I’m out walking, I take a break to sit so I’m not distracted by the next treasure I find. There is an awareness around what they need from me. Do they want advice or do they just want to vent? I want them to know without a doubt, how important they are to me. Do I always do the right thing? Of course not, and sometimes I mess up royally! And I like to think I have more tools and better knowledge, so I’m doing just a little better.

Don’t get me wrong, I am the last one to give advice on parent-child relationships. In fact the only advice I can give is this: just love them. Having lost my son, I know that life is precious and sometimes fragile and love is the thing that will get us through.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and the people that love them. May your day be filled with love and sweetness and light.